Sex is trending?

Ok so hahahahaha how to even start something like this? I guess 'sex' is trending. You know, not like I am of the male sex, or the sex of your baby is female. No like. I am going to stick my dick in your vagina. Cool? Ok thanks, now can you sign this waiver, take that pill, roll this condom on and remember, I am not responsible if you get pregnant. In fact, never contact me again after this, unless you're good.

So why exactly is that trending? Are you all just writing a really long monologue on health education or are you actually describing what happened? Because HEY! I'm all for getting a little action, but seriously, keep it in the bedroom...or wherever you usually keep it... like a church, or a grocery store. (Personal experiences ;))

Because I know for a fact that if I announced my sex life on here, especially with my current girlfriend, she would FIND. ME. hunt me down and beat me with her favorite pair of Louboutin's. How would you even narrarate a story like that?

You could do the classic guy: DUDE! I just got totally laid by a Mikeala last night, I was like Oh baby and then she totally just took it in the mouth.

Or... The gangster: That muthafucka sucked mah jojobean like Beyonce only not as black and a hell of a lot looser... my nig's gotta get dat hoe's numba bitch.

The in love girl: He said it was only me, and then wings of joy and pure innocence sprouted from his condom and carried him over to me, afterwards we prayed at church that god would give us a long happy joyful blissful frolicking gay time of fun together until I recieve his STD's.

The forever alone: Sometimes when I'm bored... I wonder what it would be like to taste someone's yeast infection.

The... should be forever alond but probably is just a fake bitch: i wnted 2 b wit him but it leik wont wrk beuz he has leik 48 stds nd that iz a mjor turn off so i need 2 b wit his brotha who has a bigger dick 2 fck and my vag-ay iz liek super loose.

Or you could pull a my girlfriend: Not now Blue seriously, this is the new Jonas reality show! BABE GET OFF YOUR SITTING ON ME I CANT BREATHE! :)

 

Moral of the story, keep your secrets in your vagina or your girlfriends vagina. And trust me, if she has a lot... you'll know ;)

 

To leave a comment, please sign in with
or or

Comments